So the title says it all! My apologies, it has been three weeks since my last blog post. I want to tell you it is because I’ve been so busy, but that would be a total lie. 🤪 I guess other than a few good things, I have felt uninspired. When I started this journey and blog, I promised that I would share the good, the bad and the stuff that just pisses me off.
I celebrated my birthday on the 9th. I turned 39. You may say to yourself, huh? I have decided just to continue being 39 up until I decide to turn 40. HA! Alright, I turned 44. I have learned to cherish every birthday because I feel blessed to see another one. This birthday was one of the best on record. I was able to spend it with my boys and our friends, who have become family. A special shout-out goes to Christina for gifting surprise after wonderful surprise. She truly made my birthday spectacular. Love you, girl! Oh and Nick, you did a good job too! ❤
I received the best basket from a group of my neighbors. Among other wonderful items, it included a custom-made sign for my walker, Estelle. You can imagine how thrilled I was! I was having an off day that day, so the timing of the surprise was perfect. The love and support I have received from my neighbors have made me speechless. I am so lucky to have them.
On the 16th, I went back to the Dr. to have my stitches removed. I was thrilled to be a step closer to getting fitted for a prosthetic. She told me that I was cleared to start working with the prosthetist! I was delighted. I would be cleared to get scanned/cast for a socket, and then once my wound fully heals, I could be weight-bearing to test my socket. So I immediately reached out to my "leg man"! I scheduled that appointment for the 23rd. I was finally making progress toward being able to walk again!!
Our neighborhood throws a St. Patrick's Day crawl every year. We have never been able to attend b/c Jackson generally has a basketball tournament. This year we were free and decided to go. I have not seen anyone other than a few friends and neighbors that have stopped by since my pedicure. (Minus Dr.'s appointments) I decided to go all out and decorate myself and Estelle! I mean, I have nothing but time, so what did you expect? 🤣 There were four stops to the crawl, and I made it to two stops before Nick brought me home to hang out with Jackson. I knew I wouldn't make it to all four stops, but I was proud that I got out to socialize with my neighbors. It was a fun evening. (For a good laugh, make sure you take note of what my shirt says!)
Last Thursday, on the 23rd, I excitedly went to see my "leg man." I was filled with nothing but joy. I could not wait to start the next steps. Except I was told, it was too early to begin the process. Insert bubble busted. Ugh. So my wound had not healed enough in one area to be scanned. I have to wait for the scabbing to be gone before I can proceed. I return on April 3rd to see if my leg is healed enough to scan for my socket. In keeping with the truth, I had a complete meltdown in the car. I had not had a breakdown since the decision was made in January to have my pedicure. I had been holding my head high and trying to get through this with the utmost grace and dignity. To know my process was delayed was too much. I sobbed and sobbed and then got pissed. I have done everything right. I have lugged myself around my house on a walker for five weeks and scooted up and down the stairs without so much a complaint. What did I do to deserve this? It took about 24 hours before I got un-pissed (yes, it's a word) and realized this was happening for a reason. One I do not know, but one I will accept. It is entirely out of my control, so why would I drive myself crazy? I will get there and will rock the process when I do.
Instead of wallowing further, I followed through with a previously planned game night with framily (friends who are family). I have not been out to eat since the day before my surgery on Feb 14th. I decided I was finally ready. We went at an off time so that the restaurant (surprise, surprise, a Mexican restaurant - my fave!) would not be crowded. I wore a long dress to avoid the "omg she is missing a foot" stares. It was heaven. I felt normal for one of the first times in a while. It was incredible to feel completely normal and I didn't even remember my leg. We came back to the house and played Cards Against Humanity. I laughed and laughed until my face hurt. It was the absolute best day and a day I desperately needed.
One of our neighbors offered to let us borrow their knee scooter while I was recovering. I have just now gotten to a point, pain-wise, that I can use it. I tried it out around the house this weekend and feel comfortable with it now. We needed a Costco run, so I asked to tag along today. At first, I was so excited to get out of the house; however when we arrived in the parking lot, I started to panic. I was too embarrassed to go in. I finally sucked it up, and I zoomed around Costco like a pro. I had a couple of busy-body people that were staring. Apparently their parents never taught them any manners. Did it bother me? Hell yes it did! But I have to realize that it is their problem, not mine. It is something I guess I am going to have to get used to.
I appreciate all who take the time to read my blog. This journey is a marathon, not a sprint. I will reach my destination because I refuse to accept anything less. To my readers, I say go be great and #MakeitCountForCort!!
Love,
Cort