I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to be making this blog update. I made it through my surgery and I am recovering very well! The whole process began on Monday the 9th. The hospital called, and I was admitted around 10 a.m. I had to be admitted since I had to stop my blood thinners on the 6th. They wanted to put me on a preventative course of Heparin up until my surgery. Those were two VERY boring nights in the hospital where I did not sleep or eat (other than the contraband Wendy's hamburger my bff snuck in!). I don't do well in hospitals. However, I was on my best behavior and made friends with several nurses. The day before I left for the hospital, I was gifted the world's softest Grinch blanket by the sweetest little boy, Wyatt. Every person who entered my room gave me compliments on my blanket.
The night before my surgery, Nick, Jackson & Dobby came for a visit after Jackson's soccer game. (He scored 4 goals, including the game-winner!) It was amazing to spend some time with all three of my boys before my surgery the next morning. It was difficult to watch them leave. 💔 I even went as far as writing Jackson a letter, just in case I didn't survive the surgery, and I told Nick where he could locate it. These surgeries are not only physically exhausting but mentally battering as well.
In the wee hours of Wednesday the 11th, I was taken down to the pre-op to get ready for surgery. My pre-op nurse was great and understanding of my sense of humor! Therefore, we shared lots of laughs waiting for go time. (She even came up to ICU to find me the next day to see how I did ❤) My final prep piece was a lovely surgical cap that appeared to be made of aluminum foil. I was thrilled to look like a baked potato and posed for a few pictures! I took my traditional photo where I flip off the cancer one last time. I said my goodbyes to Nick and was rolled back to yet another operating room.
The rest of the day was a bit foggy (thank goodness!). I went back around 6:45 am to face the crab mallet. After surgery, I was sent to the Cardiac ICU. After a few hours, I was able to come off the ventilator. I was awake as the tube was pulled out, but luckily they had turned on Friends for me! (They asked what I wanted to watch so I drew the letters T-B-S in the air w/ my finger b/c I knew Friends was on - Nick laughed) Wednesday was a weird day. Between the anesthesia and the painkillers....I was a hoot. I apologize if you received a text from me that evening. LOL
The surgeon said the surgery went well BUT the tumor was double the size they expected it to be. He was unsure whether he was able to get clear margins because he had to remove more tissue than anticipated. So that was scary news no. 1.
I had hurdles to jump before I could get out of ICU. The first was for my heart to work on her own. I had pacer wires connected to my heart during surgery and they were keeping it beating regularly. They tried to turn it off on Wednesday evening and my heart would not take over. They tried again on Thursday morning, and my heart still wouldn't work. Our amazing ICU nurse assured Nick that worst case scenario, I would require a pacemaker. Scary news no. 2.
I was also retaining an excessive amount of fluid. They were hopeful that my heart was swollen and that is why she was not working on her own. I had gained around 15 pounds of fluid and it was not coming off. At my bedside, it was decided I would be put on lasiks. By the time the nurses returned with the medication, my kidneys started working and the fluid started coming off. They laughed and said my body just needed to be threatened and then it started working.
I have to pause to give a HUGE shoutout to the ICU staff. The entire staff was top-notch. I will be forever grateful for their care and compassion. Special shoutout to Brittany and Natasha! Nurses are extraordinary people. On my first night, I was on a BiPAP machine. I looked a little like something out of Star Wars. (Jackson...I am your mother!) I had so many devices protruding from my body it was frightening. I had a central line in my neck, and two pacer wires (for my external pacemaker) sticking out under my rib cage. Right beside those wires were two drainage tubes. Every time you move, you end up tugging on one thing or another.
Thursday I was able to get up and stand and walk forwards and backwards. I was swollen so I had thought ahead to bring my socket for my prosthesis from last year. I am happy to report that many individuals are now educated on my prosthesis system! I could not put it on myself so I had to teach several nurses how it worked. They enjoyed learning! I was having trouble with high blood sugar caused by the surgery so I was on insulin the whole time in the hospital. It is fascinating what all surgery can do to your body. Before surgery, I was closer to having a LOW blood sugar level. I was on so many medications. My IV tower looked like a science experiment. (Steve Rogers anyone?) They tested my heart again by turning off the pacemaker, and MY HEART WORKED! I could tell bc my crew started high-fiving and cheering. Like I said, I had an amazing bunch caring for me.
Friday was a BIG day!! They got me up to take me for a spin around the ICU floor to measure my progress. I did very well walking! I was even told to slow down. Imagine that?!?!
Since my heart was working as she should, it was time to start removing tubes. When I say this was a bizarre experience....I mean it. I hope to never have items removed from my body while awake ever again. There was not enough Dilaudid in the world to prepare me for what was about to happen.
First, out came the catheter. I had never had one in my life and I hope to never have one again. The number of times I accidentally tugged on that thing?!?! To make it even better, they had given me Vitamin B12, enough of it to turn my pee bright red. That wasn't concerning AT ALL! Once again, thank you Dilaudid.
Second, the pacer wires. To prepare, you take practice deep breaths which is simple bc I didn't just have my chest cracked open like a lobster, and on the third breath, he pulled both wires at the same time. These were connected to my heart and came out below my ribs. It felt like they were 100ft long and it was never going to end. I had to wait an hour to see if removing those wires was going to cause a lot of bleeding. But that is TWO DOWN!!
Third was the drainage tubes. If I had a choice, I would still be walking around with drainage tubes in. lol To get these out, they first had to remove the stitches. They were stitched tight so that was a process all in itself. Again, it was a repeat of deep breaths and on three the yanking began. You know what, I don't want to talk about it. You can see the picture for yourself below. Big ups to Dilaudid!!
I was free of everything but one IV and the Central Line. At one time I had four IV's in my arms. One was in the artery in my right wrist. The Central Line was stitched in my neck and got caught on everything. That was to be removed right before I left ICU. I was not prepared for what they pulled out of my neck. (3rd picture in the gloved hand) Nick gasped when he saw it! lol Let's just say I am pretty badass.
I was cleared to move to the Cardiac step-down floor a little over 48 hours after surgery! As soon as I was moved I regretted my decision. I missed my nurses and my fancy room! LOL I didn't get much sleep that night b/c they were checking my blood sugar, blood pressure, etc, every hour. They got me up at 5 am to walk the halls. I told them I wanted to go home.....TODAY! The PA came to visit me about an hour later and she said she rarely releases anyone on Day 3. She has worked this job for six years and has only released two people on Day 3, but I was going to be the THIRD! I was released around 2:00 on Saturday afternoon.
I decided not to tell Jackson and surprise him instead. He walked into the house and did a double-take. The look on his face is one I will never forget. ❤
The first thing I asked was if the boys would help me wash my hair in the kitchen sink, love their hearts, they did just that. I got situated, they fed me, and I was finally home. The place that makes me feel instantly better. The place that makes me feel loved, appreciated, and comfortable. I was back with my 3 boys, right where I belong.
I have already rambled on so I'm going to wrap this up. Once I returned home, I was able to get great sleep, I have been eating, showering on my own, and following the instructions I was given. I sleep propped up on 3 pillows and if I happen to slide off of them, I look like a turtle stuck on her back. lol Nick has been taking wonderful care of me and I am getting better each day. I think you would be amazed at my progress because I am! I am very proud of myself. I was terrified of having this surgery but I faced it like I wasn't. I am NOT saying the recovery is not hard, I am just saying that I am kicking ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have had so much support from our neighborhood, which I swear should win an award. Jackson's school has been incredibly supportive. And our friends that have become family. Nick and I used to feel so alone and in awe of those who had so much support. We went through this alone for so long and then we blinked and when we opened our eyes we had this incredible army behind us. We are so blessed with our army and we could not get through all of this without you!
I'm going to leave you with one bit of news. I received my preliminary pathology results. The surgeon was able to get the whole tumor and clear margins - R0!!!!!!! Now, I am cautiously optimistic because I have had clear margins many times before. What I wish/want/pray that will happen is that I'm able to find an immunotherapy that is targeted to my type of tumor so I can get this behind me for good. So I ask this of you, PLEASE use your prayers, thoughts, etc to help me find targeted therapy that will help me say goodbye to this horrible disease once and for all!!!!!
Love to you all,
Cort
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